Violaters will be towtally screwed

So yesterday was awesome. And by awesome I mean completely the opposite of awesome. Ugh.

I woke up hungover, thanks to the Christmas ale mentioned in the last post. I live on Clifton in Lakewood, which means there are crazy parking rules EVERYWHERE. It's like the nazi germany of street parking regulations. On one side of the street, you can't park there from 7am-9:30am, and on the other side of the street you can't park there between 4pm-6:30pm. I usually try to park on the side street, but it's a small side street, and there are 75 million apartment buildings surrounding it. So....if you get to the side street after 6pm, when MOST people get home from work, your chances of finding a spot are pretty slim.

So if I'm home after 6:30, I park on the "away from downtown" rush hour side. I just have to remember to move my car by 4 PM. No big deal, right?

Wrong. I'm retarded. I have come close to forgetting sooooo many times, but so far in the year I've been here I still remember to run out and move the damn car. Shouldn't be that big of a deal, because who stays in their house until 4pm?

Me. I do. I mope around my apartment in my pjs with my coffee all day. Usually I finally get up and go jog or ride to the gym. Well, this day, thanks to CHRISTMAS ALE (of course!), I was doing laundry and waltzing around when I realized, "OH FUCK", I left my car in the street. It was 6:30pm. So.......it was gone. Towed, thanks to the Lakewood police department and the towing company.

UGH. Here's the part where I feel like a trashball. I am calling my friends and family, begging for a ride. My sister drops what she is doing and comes out (thanks Kathy!) and of course my parents would have too. But Kathy came out and while I waited, I walked up to the police station down the street to get a release form. They said i needed the title or registration, and because I'm a big idiot I leave it in my car. Thank GOD they took the little scrap card that my license plate stickers were on. We would have never made it up to the towing place two times by 8:20. After 8:20 they charge you another day's fee or something. It was already 92 FUCKING DOLLARS. 92!!!

The thing that sucks is that this towing company is like 10-15 minutes away, while there is literally a towing company at the end of my street. Well, not literally. It's at the end of the street next to me. But WHATEVER. it's within walking distance. I could have taken care of everything myself....but oh well. Thank God I have friends and family to help a brotha out.

I was angry and upset, but mostly at myself. When I got to the police station, the officer was sooooo nice it was impossible to be mad at him. I think I said thanks when I left. "hey buddy, thanks for ticketing my car!" Seriously. But it isn't his fault. There are signs everywhere. I'm a dumb ass.

Then we went to the towing company and I wanted to be mad at them, even more so because my purse broke when i was walking in......but I couldn't because they were nice too. The biker guy that works there said, "oh man, it's another cute one" and I'm pretty sure he was referring to me, but I looked around anyway. I was in front of two dudes. So...I laughed uncomfortably and then he told me I needed to pay with cash. Who has 92 dollars in cash in their wallet? In Cleveland? So my sister and I ran to the atm, and came back...and he said, "oh hey, you're back. and you're still cute". More uncomfortable laughing noises came out of me, and then he asked me if he could take me to dinner. Um, ok. Now it's really awkward. Before it was somewhat flattering and nice, now I feel weird. So I laughed again, but it was obvious he was waiting for a reply. I said, "i'm actually drinking ten-cent beers tonight, because I need like a hundred of them". I thought he would say, "where the hell do you get ten-cent beers" but instead he said, "I still want to take you to dinner". At this point I just smiled and looked down at my paperwork. AWK-WARD. I mean, yikes.

Then I fixed my eyes on the biggest rottweiler, and one of the biggest dogs, that I have ever seen. It was amazingly huge and insanely adorable. Big sad eyes and the cutest face. He was literally bigger than me. I wanted to go cuddle and pet him, but I was also kind of afraid he would eat me....so I just smiled at him. Soooo cute.

So anyway...yeah. The guy stopped the awkward comments after that, thank God. So he finished up my paperwork, I gave him my hard-earned unemployment money and again said thanks. "thanks for towing my car!!"

Moral of the story. DO NOT DRINK CHRISTMAS ALE.

At least not in June.