My hot dog is bigger than your hot dog.

Monday night I made it to my first Indians game of the season. And I didn't even have to pay for the ticket, thanks to my buddy Angie. She got some tickets from work and called me to see if I wanted to go. I thought about it for a second, ran my fingers through my unkempt hair, looked down at my coffee and my pajamas and thought, "maybe it would be good to get dressed for something".

I haven't seen Angie in a while, and it is hard to pass up free tickets. I love that even if you have to buy tickets, you can usually hook up a bleacher seat for twelve bucks, and that's pretty sweet. What is not sweet is if you like to drink and you don't have any fun money. $6.75 for a pint of beer? Seriously?

Somehow I only managed to spend 20 bucks the whole night, and I still drank my fill. "Somehow"....like it just mysteriously happened. Angie is awesome, and her friends are pretty cool too. People bought rounds (people that aren't me) and there was vodka and whiskey involved. I bought one beer at the game, and I bought Angie and I a beer at the Old Angle. That's it. I feel like a big unemployed loser, but it's nice to know that your friends are there for you and they have your back.....or your beer.

Oh, and Angie bought us a "super kosher dog". I didn't know they existed, but she took us to a specific hot dog stand at the Jake. (Yes, i refuse to call it the prog! they finally wore me down with the Q, but I am standing my ground this time! Progressive laid off a shit-ton of people and then soon afterwards bought the name to a stadium or whatever? real fucking nice progressive. screw you. i don't care if the girl on your commercials is cute and quirky. if i ever leave state farm, i'm switching to geico. jerks. sorry. rant over!) Anyway....I thought to myself, "I do need a hot dog at the game", because of course you do. it's not baseball unless there are hot dogs and beer involved. I started to get my money ready and then realized that the hot dog was 6-fucking-50. almost seven bucks for a fucking hot dog! super or not, that 's insane. I sort of got out of line, and then Angie asked me what I wanted on my super hot dog....she was already buying me one. That was awesome, because I wouldn't have bought it. I would have went and spent 4 bucks on one of the dinky ones. So yeah, she bought it and I told her that the thing better be as big as a fucking baby's arm for 6.50. And it was. A very small infant's arm, straight out the womb, all red and shit. hhaha. gross. anyway, even with that image, it was great. Thanks Angie :)

The next day I went to the gym and thought I should do some extra ab work, thanks to the super hot dog and all the very super beers I consumed at the game. So, I did way more crunches and stuff than I usually do. It hurt sooooo bad, but I kept at it. I said to myself, "you know what Krissy, you fucking pussy? you can't just workout til it hurts and stop. power through, you stupid son of a bitch". (Yes, myself is a big jerk. she swears at me all the time!) Now I'm in some serious pain, but it's all good. If i didn't work out, I would probably be huge. I already have a little beer gut that I need to get rid of. And I can't stop drinking. I mean, that's crazy talk.

I went to a white trash party with my good buddy Paul, and I had on a wifebeater and said, "look, I barely have to try. my nails are chipped, my roots are ten feet long, and I have a beer gut" to which he replied, "guys like girls with beer guts". Well you know what? Paul is gay. So yeah......I'm sticking with the ab workouts.