Dear....

Eric Mangini and George Kokinis,
Please don't make me throw away my Quinn jersey. I didn't get much use out of it, and it cost my ex-boyfriend 50 bucks. Plus I really don't want to add it to the back of my closet where my Tim Couch jersey is collecting dust. I wish I could have found a Cribbs jersey (my boy from Kent state..woot woot!) instead. Sigh. I will NOT be buying a Sanchez jersey, and if you draft him and I see you in public, Man-kok, I will give you the evil eye and shake my head in disappointment. You don't want that now, do you???

COBRA,
fuck you. seriously. I mean, great...thanks for making health insurance cheaper (but still too expensive for unemployed people to really afford) for a period of six months. but why do you have to make the whole process so difficult? I have insurance as of april 1st, but I can't see a doctor until the middle of may. W.T.F.

ESPN,
I sware they make you remove part of your brain if you become a member of the media. There are so many people spinning all kinds of crap and starting all kinds of rumors on what's happening on draft day. This team is doing this, or this team doesn't like this guy, they are going to pick this guy.....you know what??? you don't know! stop pretending you know everything and that everything you say is a fact. It's not! I wonder how many coaches and gms, the people actually making the decisions, watch this crap and laugh. I would. And then I would hold a press conference and call out the individual reporters who announced these facts and tell them they are idiots.

Christian Bale,
I really, really love you. Mmm.

House centipedes,
I really, really hate you. Ick.

Gevalia 12-cup stainless steel programmable coffee maker,
I can't wait to meet you. I'm so happy my friend is giving you to me...I already threw away my old piece of crap coffee maker. I mean, don't get me wrong, my old coffee maker and i have had some good times....but it's time for a change. Especially a change where i can wake up to coffee that is already made. Modern technology is great.


Well, now that i don't have a coffee maker i have to walk up to starbucks or something. but it's like 70 degrees out so I don't mind one bit!

I will say this is one day I am happy to be unemployed :)