Please help me pay for my drinking habit

I have a routine in the mornings where I check my facebook, my email, job sites and craigslist. On craigslist I check the volunteer section, missed connections (because the shit is funny! seriously) and then I check the jobs.

In the volunteer section the other day, I came across this post:

Please help me pay for college

Hey everyone, i have been frantically trying to sell things work more and beg friends for money. my college tuition bill is comming up and i cannot get another loan this year. any help would be appreciated.

email me or send donations through paypal

he then includes his email address. WTF. I mean, WHAT. THE. FUCK! Are you serious? Yeah, can I PLEASE give you money for your college career, stranger that I don't know on craigslist? I would rather give money to a bum for lottery tickets.

There are sooo many things wrong with this.

1. This dude does not go to college. if you really want people to give you money you should probably spell your shit right and throw in some punctuation. no one is going to invest in someone that can't spell and doesn't use commas. (I myself do not use punctuation very well because I'm lazy, but i am not asking you for money...that doesn't mean I don't want it though. feel free. donaytions are axepted at impoorstupidandlazy@gmail.com.)

And if this dude does go to school.....he should just drop out now. He's wasting his time. They teach you to spell "coming" in like third grade.

2. I have sold things, I have worked more hours....but I have never begged friends for money. There's a thing called pride that this guy definitely lacks. Not only does he beg his friends for money, he is begging strangers. You know who else does that shit? Crackheads.

3. There are people STARVING to death and living on the streets, but you just want some money to stay in school? Get another job! Or take a year off and save up to finish school. I mean, yeah, that sucks. But I don't feel sorry for anyone that begs other people for money for something that is an option in life, not a necessity. I went to college....look where it got me. That dude at least HAS a job.

4. It was in the volunteer section!!


I mean...UGH! that made me so mad. I wonder if anyone actually sent him money. It's all probably just some lazy ass junkie that doesn't feel like working or doing anything, so he made up some bullshit hoping that people will feel sorry for him because he can't go to school. The unemployment rate is skyrocketing, but people are going to feel sorry for a dude that can't stay in school? i mean, come up with a better story than that!

Here's what I am going to post:

Please help!

Hello, I am unemployed. I live in Cleveland.

please send donations to seriouslyisntthatenough@gmail.com.


And if that doesn't work....I can add this:


Seriously, please help!

Hello, I am unemployed. I live in Cleveland.

I am on the brink of moving into my parents basement with my grandma.

please send donations to iwishthiswasajoke@gmail.com.