The zoo is free on Mondays, and I haven't been there since I worked there when I was 19. I love being outside during the day, and it was nice and sunny. Great day for some zoo time, and the fact that it's free is great for my broke ass.

My camera phone is shitty. Yes, I'm a graphic designer and I don't have a digital camera. Yes, I know I suck. I'm poor. Here's a bear.
I have been to the zoo so many times as a kid, and I never realized how lucky we are in Cleveland to have such a great place to go to. I mean, do kids in the middle of the plains of Nebraska know what a giraffe looks like in person? How many people have seen a bald eagle a few feet away? Or a gorilla?
Ugh...speaking of the gorillas....it is soooo sad. They just sit there and pout and mope. They look miserable, and because they look so human it just feels wrong to sit there and stare at them through some glass while they are stuck in a cage. You just know they want to give you the middle finger.
And then there are those people that yell over at the animals, "hey, big guy, look over here! say hi! hey, come on! look over here! look at me! smile for my stupid camera!" (THAT guy has a camera and I don't. wtf).
I want to punch that guy. And then steal his camera. I bet the gorilla would like that.
Oh, and Nikki and I also got to see a baboon with a hard-on. WHY. ugh. i still can't get that skinny red penis out of my head. why are baboons so gross? I mean, are they TRYING to gross you out? their ass is red and calloused, and they walk around jerking off all the time. I mean, whatevs I guess. At least they look like they are having a good time.
After we had enough zoo time, we decided we were thirsty. We went to the Beer Engine in Lakewood. I love that bar, but it's not the cheapest ever. They have some really great beer on tap though, and good food. Their happy hour was a dollar off all drafts, so we got some Buckeye beer that was actually pink in color. It was like a strawberry something or other. it was really delicious (although you can probably only drink one or two)...but they were still $3.50 each. I am unemployed. And I was thirsty. So if I was going to drink as much as I wanted, staying there was not going to fit in the budget.
We cruised around town, trying to decide where to go...and we drove and drove...up madison, down detroit....and then thought that maybe we should try a bar that neither of us has been to. If you know us, you know this would seem like a very hard feat for us to accomplish. Right after we decided to do it, she said, "have you ever been to Casey's?" as she pointed across the street to a little dive bar. I said, "actually, no!" and I pulled in and parked. Sweet.
We walked inside, and it was only a couple of really old guys (like, in their eighties) and the bartender. We sat down. We ordered two miller lites. She brought us two ENORMOUS frosted mugs full of ice-cold beer. Then she said, "that will be two bucks". Nikki said, "total??"...and yes, it was the total. One dollar each. That is some happy hour. I started a tab, which the bartender then told us would have a ten dollar minimum.
I looked at Nikki and said, "Well we better start drinking!"
And that we did. I love Mondays :)

3 comments:
Awww, I miss Lakewood! Good times.
I miss Nature's Bin :~)
Had you ever been to Capsule when it was open? It was that futuristic-looking bar on Madison closer towards Bunts.... I don't know what it is now.
PS: I think baboons are really gross to begin with. Thanks for making them even more gross :~P
Cheers!
1 - Did you hear about that chick that dove into the polar bear exhibit (not sure what city) cuz she thought they were cute then they came after her and started swiping their giant claws at her and she freaked out. What a moron.
2 - Might I suggest Iggy's in Lakewood. Total dive bar but so cheap. We went there on a pub crawl once, and I ordered a vodka cranberry and she brought me a huge one and said "1.50". I just stared at her thinking she made a mistake. 1.50 for vodka. I'll tell you what-Iggy's earned that dirty dance I gave its front window (sorry, Iggy's). Seriously though-love to hear about another Lakewood bar frequenter. :)
P.S. My word verification was 'mouthe'.
Paula-i have never been to capsule but i remember it. i think it had a very short life :) and yes...you love my baboon penis description, don't you? haha. i seriously think i could mold it out of clay, my memory of it is so vivid. UGH! why can't i get that picture out of my head???
Sarah-I LOVE your blog. laugh out loud funny, seriously. you're hilarious! and I sort of remember that polar bear story...it seems like every few years or so some dumb ass does something like that. I DEFINITELY know Iggy's. It's been quite some time since I've been there...but $1.50 for vodka? i will have to remember that next time we are looking for cheap drinks. The regulars usually hate us, but they need to get over themselves because in ten years that will be me anyway. heh.
mouthe. awesome :)
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