Marco?

Okay, so I know that the only way a blog even matters is if you actually write in it. And...I've been slacking.

I am going to get back on that ball, starting now. I mean it. So, all two readers out there...sit tight.

Here is a list of some blogs to come.

1. Mike Vick. (what do I think? I bet you just HAVE to know. Let's just say...you'll be surprised.) (Yes, I'm giving you teasers. And yes, I started a second parentheses to tell you that. I can do what i want!)

2. The Browns upcoming season. Will it be BQ or DA? If it's DA, will you be able to hear my brains explode? Stay tuned.

3. Baking f#$king pies. I made an apple pie and whoever made up the saying "it's as easy as pie" should throw themselves into a vat of acid. Then again, maybe it WAS easy for that person. Maybe that person was a Kathie Lee sweat shop kid. Or a navy seal. Or Jesus.

4. Moving. My idiot friend and my idiot self and I are moving in together to a house in the Wood. Is my idiot friend imaginary? Or is it Nikki? Where are we going? Are we retarded enough to go register at target? Is that a dumb question?

5. Circus porn. Okay, not really. Does it upset you that I was joking? Pervert.

6. Krusty's. Good GOD. what a drunken mess. There are pictures involving my sister, nikki and i rolling around on the ground.....and they make you curse the day cameras were invented. YIKES.

7. The Feast of the Assumption. what kind of Italian misses the feast? this broke ass italian does. damn security deposits sneaking up on you.

8. Not having AC. it was always trendy and cool to not have ac. did i say cool? yeah, i mean sweating ass hot. fuck being trendy. i have lost about 75 pounds of fluids through my sweat glands. but don't worry...i'm drinking beer to replace it. thank GOD for fans.

9. napping and watching golf. i didn't appreciate this as much when i was unemployed. now it's like tasting a little tiny piece of heaven dipped in happy and sprinkled with love.

10. beer and OJ. and by OJ, I mean the Juice. And by the Juice, I do NOT mean the football player/murderer. I mean the liquid that is extracted from oranges. anyway....it's delicious AND nutritious!

11. The morning paper. I will FINALLY be able to support the publishing industry by subscribing to the Plain Dealer. Now I can walk out on the porch in my robe with a cup of coffee, scratch my belly, yawn, look around the neighborhood, lean down to pick up the paper, sip my coffee, look down at the paper with a "slightly interested but too tired to really commit to caring" look on my face, fold the paper up under my arm and then slowly walk back into my house. yeah. that's when i realize i just spent ten minutes picking up the paper and i have to be at work in twenty. and i switch from turtle pace to frantic moron pace.

12. next time on arrested development. Most of the items on this list are not going to be blogged about...but i think you get the idea.