I Choo-Choo-Choose you Lebron...

...to be the All-Star of my heart!

hahahaha. I'm so retarded.

I watched most of the All-Star game the other night, although really I just watched the introductions and sort of watched the rest of the game in the background. It’s actually a fun game to watch (unlike the Pro-Bowl) because there is no defense and it’s really just sweet dunks and amazing shots. It also reminded me that when you are watching Lebron James, you are really witnessing something incredible. I mean, I really started to convince myself that if the enormous plasma scoreboard thing broke loose and started falling, Lebron would swoop up and hold it until everyone ran for safety, and then he would hurl the scoreboard into space. NOT Dwight Howard or Shaq or Clark Kent, but Mr. James.

It’s got to be similar to what it felt like watching Michael Jordan. I mean, I knew he was great when he was playing…I just wasn’t that into basketball. Seriously, early in his career I was too busy dancing around to Madonna and playing with My Little Ponies. And later in his career, I was too busy listening to Rage Against the Machine and pretending I hated the sun. But even though I didn’t really get into basketball then, I knew the dude was something else. And when I went to college and actually started watching and understanding basketball, there was no denying that there was no one like him...in any sport. That is until Lebron came along. When he started out he was a prodigy...and now he is even BETTER, if you can believe that shit. He has refined so much of his game, and if he keeps doing that, he is going to grow an extra chromosome or something to make him an evolutionary miracle.

I just can’t get over it sometimes when I’m watching a game. I’m like, “is anyone else seeing this???? seriously??” Just amazing.

Also, the halftime show must have been “battle of the child-bearing hips”. Jeez. I mean, I’ve got quite a set of hips myself, but it’s weird seeing two chics on stage with meat on their bones. Watching Shakira dry-hump the pole of the cage she climbed out of was great family fun. Probably gave the members of The Who each a heart attack.

And lastly....really, Dallas? Really? Do you have to live up to the "Everything's Bigger In Texas" motto? I mean, there are starving people all over the earth and we are building the world's biggest television on which we watch our own version of football while we are actually at the game. Jeez. No wonder everyone hates us!

Well....most of us. The world doesn't hate LBJ, that's for sure. My buddy said there was an enormous mural of him in a hotel in Shanghai. So I guess he is not just Cleveland's valentine anymore, and definitely not just Akron's either.

But he will always be mine!