Since I've been laid off, I have had serious insomnia. I usually go to bed around midnight, wake up around three, and then watch random shitty movies on tbs and don't really fall back asleep. I watch the clock turn to 4, then to 5.....until about 7, when I think I doze off for a bit. For a while I was waking up at nine, and then falling asleep until noon. Now that I am trying to be "up and at 'em" earlier so I don't fall into the unemployed sleep all day rut, it's really weird. My body has been running on only around three hours of sleep a night.
This morning was no different. I finally said "screw this" and got out of bed around 8. I did some facebooking, like the loser that I am, ate some cereal and watched some HGTV. Then I decided because it was a gorgeous day, I should get out and take a walk.
I have a cold. And a cough. An asthma cough that sucks right now. I have no health insurance, so I've been trying to take it easy. That means no gym this week. And that SUCKS. I feel like a turd. So I figured a nice easy walk would be good for me.
I got all hoodied and chuck taylored up, and went to Starbucks. For the first time ever, I didn't order a latte or a mocha. I'm unemployed. So....I ordered a regular ass coffee. Sigh. It was okay though. Who needs foamy milk and vanilla syrup anyway? Not this guy. At least that's what I told myself.
you know you love my shitty camera phone
I sat down in the corner and couldn't help but wonder if the other random people in there were unemployed too. People looking at the paper. People on laptops. I opened up my little notebook and started sketching ideas for a website (which I don't even know if I can do because I haven't created a website since college, and even then it was pretty basic. Reason #273 of why I can't find a job). I sketched for like 43 seconds, and then started writing random shit. I made some lists. I am a freak about writing lists. Then I just started writing the thoughts in my head.
casual jeans guy reading the new york times. is he really reading it because he wants to, or because they are out of the plain dealer? and if he really wants to read it....does he actually read it regularly or is he just trying to look cool? forgot headphones. sort of irritated. guy with the headphones reminded me of this and I am kind of ticked at him. he is wearing work clothes. it's Friday at 11 am. so....why is he here? maybe he has a sweet job. maybe he works from home. maybe he has no job. He is tapping his foot like crazy. Holy shit. Headphones guy looks like a guy I dated. Maybe I should get out of here. Now I'm almost sure it's him. He is tapping both feet at the same time. He looks like he is going to lift off. He always did that. Yikes. must go. how do I get out of here without him seeing me? don't look up. he might see me. I am literally in the back corner of a coffee shop with my hand pushing my hat down on my head. I feel like I'm lurking. shit. where did he go? don't look up. oh my God. you looked up.
After that, I realized he got more coffee. I waited for him to sit back down and I left. Not that I don't like him. It's just that I have no make-up on, I'm sick and coughing, I'm wearing a hoodie and I look like an idiot. Oh, and I'm at a coffee shop in the late morning with a notebook. Seriously? what a loser.
I proceeded to walk around town for an hour. It was nice. I will say the great thing about where I live is that I am a short walk from the lake.
I wish every road ended in a lake.
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